We Need to Flip the Script on Self-care
- Julia Flaherty
- Oct 13, 2025
- 2 min read
I recently heard that no one will care about your life as much as you do while listening to the Mel Robbins podcast, where Matthew Hussey, an acclaimed dating expert, was a guest.
It doesn’t sound super positive at first, but it’s meant to be empowering. It’s meant to help you reflect on what matters to you, how you’re spending your time, and even who you’re trying to please.
While watching out for others and being there is important, showing up as our favorite selves—notice I didn’t say best—requires taking care of ourselves first.
Another insight I heard recently, while listening to the Jay Shetty podcast, where Emma Watson was a guest, is that one of the common challenges for long-term couples is prioritizing. Shetty walks couples through an exercise where they have to list their top priorities in order of importance.
He shared that one partner often lists themselves as the top priority, while the other lists themselves last.
We've Been Lied to About Self-care
We are taught that the latter partner should be revered. But if that partner isn’t taking care of themselves, there’s no way they can take care of their children, dog, or partner in the ways any of them deserve.
So, while prioritizing your self-care may feel selfish at first, that’s where the problem lies. We are often taught that spending time on ourselves is vain or self-absorbed, but it can actually be a self-nurturing and caring act.
Certainly, vanity and self-absorption exist, and self-nurturing and self-care are not the same thing. Still, we must pause and reflect when we feel they’re one and the same.
If we stay in that mindset, we’re unlikely to develop healthy stress management or coping techniques. We’re unlikely to prioritize movement. We’re unlikely to align with our purpose or work toward our goals.
Doing any of these requires prioritizing ourselves—not neglecting others, but showing ourselves the same love we offer to those around us.
Coaching is a Commitment to Self-care
If this resonates with you, I invite you to explore whether health and wellness coaching could support your next steps on your life path.
Coaching isn't right for everyone, but it is an important part of self-care for many. It's a commitment to being accountable to the self you promised yourself.
New clients can book their first complimentary call today.
Choosing yourself every day is Chronically Courageous. Similar to choosing your partner every day in a long-term relationship, you must choose yourself every day. It's always an option and always worth the investment. Even when it's hard!
