Change Must Start with Self-Love: Including Weight
- Julia Flaherty
- Oct 6
- 2 min read
Weight loss and type 1 diabetes (T1D) is complicated.
Honestly, weight is complicated for women—period. Talking about it feels risky. I feel stiff even writing this, worried about reactions. What should have been a healthy conversation has turned toxic for so many of us.
Over the years, I’ve felt it all: shame, self-hatred, destructive habits, healing, and now, a healthier relationship with my body.
At my thinnest, people celebrated my beauty while quietly questioning my health. It felt loud. At my heaviest, the comments stopped, and I began to question my value. I grew up believing a woman’s worth was tied to her weight and appearance—and that they were one and the same. I don’t share this proudly, but growth requires honesty.
Here’s what I know now:
Weight loss should be about health, not vanity. And yes, it’s okay to recognize beauty—but beauty exists in all sizes, and it’s not the only source of our value. Beauty isn’t just external.
Growing up during the "heroin chic" era of pop culture was tough, especially while navigating puberty, insulin changes, and later the “COVID-19”—the 19 pounds I gained during lockdown. Unfortunately, that dangerous ideal seems to be resurfacing today.
But in my 30s, weight isn’t the center of my life anymore. I’m focused on building strength, shifting habits, and managing a chronic illness that already demands so much from my body. Taking care of myself no longer means losing weight for vanity’s sake.
I want to feel strong—in every way that matters. Mentally. Physically. Grounded.
I want to set an example for the women around me. I want them to know I see and value them, whatever their size. Our bodies do so much for us. They deserve more than punishment or harsh self-talk. Acceptance should be the baseline, just like we expect in our closest relationships.
Sure, we might gain a few pounds over the years, but let’s remember everything else we’ve gained, too. And yes, it’s okay to want to lose weight in the name of health.
What I’m tired of is the judgment. We can’t win, no matter what size we are. We must stop trying to mold ourselves into the image we assume others expect us to portray. Change can’t come from judgment—it has to come from love. From wanting better for ourselves. From seeing our potential.
I see potential in myself to keep improving my health, and I’m choosing to honor that. I’m moving toward losing a few pounds, but I’m still enjoying sweet treats and glasses of prosecco along the way.
It’s about moderation. 80/20, for me. Deprivation never got me anywhere. I'm talking about sustainable habits that let me enjoy life!
And I refuse to fixate on a number on the scale. If I don’t lose weight, I’m okay with that—as long as I’m healthy. It isn’t the focus of my life. We need to talk about weight loss from a place of self-love and compassion, not self-hatred or pressure.
Social media can feel like shouting into the void. But at the end of the day, the voice that matters most is your own. Betraying yourself is the fastest way to lose yourself.
And I’m done feeling lost.
