When Blood Sugars Hit the Kitchen Floor

When Blood Sugars Hit the Kitchen Floor | Chronically Climbing

I feel very deeply.

This includes low blood sugars.

I don't normally do this, but I wanted to be vulnerable with you...

I was frustrated beyond measure last night.

Type 1 diabetes is dramatic.

It is for me, anyway.

Sometimes it feels traumatic.

And knowing how easily it context switches is aggravating. 

Type 1 diabetes is like a mind game.

Like a toxic partner that you can't quit.

Or a helpless child who won't move out of the house.

Or a full-time job with poor benefits that you can't quit.

T1D isn't an option when you have it.

You manage it or you face the consequences.

Still, managing it well doesn't exclude you from the consequences of this disease.

Because even good managers get it "wrong."

All managers are human.

And we all deserve empathy.

From ourselves and each other.

Whether we're healing through our worst or best moments.

We can redeem ourselves.

It's brutal to be a full-time nurse and caregiver to yourself.

My body does so much.

It's so strong.

I yearn for more softness.

My body deserves better.

And in reflecting on this moment when I was dropping at 38 mg/dL, I remember that 85% of the time, my blood sugars DON'T look like this.

And most of the time, my body has "better."

It has resources, tools, and medicine.

And I am grateful.

I will never stop fighting.

I value this life.

I LOVE life.

I love living.

Even when it's hard.

And the world is cold.

And cruel.

And my pancreas is lazy.

And I have to be my own organ.

I am still f*cking grateful.

Being frustrated will never take away from that.

If anything, it is a reflection of my gratitude.

Because it means I'm remembering the highs.

And I'm not talking 180 mg/dL+.

I'm talking about fall walks with my dog.

I'm talking about traveling to Europe.

I'm talking about warm sunshine.

I'm talking about thrifting with my mom.

I'm talking about chatting with my sister.

I'm talking about laughing with my friends.

I'm talking about reminiscing with my dad.

I'm talking about cuddles with my fiancée.

Because what I've shown you in the video is life with T1D.

But so is EVERYTHING I just described...the good, too.