Spotting Toxicity at Work: Key Signs and What You Can Do About It
- Julia Flaherty
- Aug 25, 2025
- 4 min read
At some point, you’ll encounter toxic people or environments. If you're feeling unsure, wondering if you're overreacting, too sensitive, or imagining things, I hope this post gives you some clarity. After 16 years of working in various capacities within different industries under 27 job titles, I've learned to recognize the signs.
Likewise, I hope this post helps you recognize if you're handling a situation in a toxic way. How we show up matters, and accountability makes a big difference!
Below, I share what you should watch for when it comes to spotting toxicity at work.
Here are a few key signs:
They Refuse Accountability
Toxic individuals often avoid taking responsibility. Instead, they shift blame onto others and twist situations to protect themselves. They prioritize self-preservation over collective well-being. They might even play the victim, which is a big red flag.
They Gossip Constantly
If someone talks badly about others to you, they’re likely talking about you to someone else. It’s a hard truth—but gossip is a red flag for disloyalty and manipulation. This is also a big sign that they're fueling the drama pool at work.
They Gaslight You
They make you question your reality, your feelings, and your worth. You might leave interactions feeling anxious, confused, or like you’ve done something wrong—when you haven’t.
They Undermine You to Elevate Themselves
If someone consistently tears you down, they may be trying to mask their own insecurities. Remember: their lack of self-worth should never shrink your light.
They Use Private Conversations Against You
If you’ve shared something in confidence and that information is later weaponized, it’s a major red flag. Trust is foundational in any relationship, especially in professional settings. When someone uses your vulnerability to manipulate, shame, or discredit you, they are not a safe person to confide in.
They Use Your Medical Condition Against You
This goes beyond toxic—it borders on discrimination. If someone is using your medical condition to undermine you or justify unfair treatment, it’s not just unethical; it may be illegal. Don’t hesitate to document the behavior and speak up. You have a right to work in an environment that respects your health and protects your dignity.
They Use Flattery as a Tool
Sometimes, compliments come with strings. In work settings, especially, they may flatter you to exploit your work ethic or manipulate you into taking on more than your share.
They Avoid Honest Conversations
They dodge difficult conversations, frequently reschedule one-on-ones, or cancel plans without follow-up. Avoidance is often a strategy to escape accountability or maintain control.
They Promise A Lot Without Delivering
Big promises without follow-through can stem from manipulation, insecurity, or naïveté. While transparency is key, oversharing or overcommitting without delivery can hurt team morale.
They Make You Feel Like You've Lost Yourself
If being around someone makes you feel like a stranger to yourself, they are not a healthy presence in your life. The right people help you grow—they nurture your confidence, broaden your perspective, and encourage your evolution. You shouldn’t feel like you're constantly questioning your worth or spiraling into self-doubt. That’s not growth—that’s erosion.
They Promise Raises & Promotions, but Nothing Ever Happens
If your manager frequently promises raises or promotions that never materialize, it may be because they don’t want to lose you in your current role. While that might serve the company’s short-term interests, it doesn’t support your long-term growth.
A good leader doesn’t hold you back—they champion your development, even if it means helping you move on from a role that’s convenient for them. If the promises keep piling up without action, it's worth asking: Are they investing in your future—or just keeping you stuck?
They Don't Respect Your Boundaries
If someone at work pushes back when you start setting boundaries—especially after years of not having any—it’s likely they never respected that you had needs to begin with. That’s a tough truth to face, but an important one.
Overextending yourself might feel like you're being a team player, but in the long run, it only leads to burnout and resentment. One of the most productive things you can do? Rest.
Use your PTO if it’s available. If you work remotely, take full advantage of the flexibility that comes with it. Set clear boundaries around when your workday starts and ends. If you consistently allow yourself to work around the clock, others may begin to expect it.
Don’t participate in that cycle. Respecting your own limits helps others learn to respect their own limits, too.
Is Everyone Who Exhibits These Qualities Toxic?
Not necessarily. People go through tough seasons. We all have bad days, make mistakes, and say things we regret. The key is pattern and intent. If these behaviors are persistent and impact your well-being, they may signal a toxic person or situation—for you.
What Can You Do About Toxic Work Environments?
I’m not sharing this to scare you—but to help you feel more grounded and mindful. You deserve to work and live in environments that fuel you more than they deplete you.
If something feels off:
Talk to a trusted co-worker or friend
Seek support from HR or a mentor
Consider your boundaries—or your exit strategy—if things don’t improve
Your gut is wise. You don’t have to justify protecting your peace. Sometimes, corporate life can feel like a game of Survivor, but even Survivor players have allies.
If any of this resonates, know that you’re not alone. You deserve safe, respectful spaces—professionally and personally. I hope this post helps you recognize your worth and find those spaces!
Disclosure: This post is not based on a single job, individual, or experience. It reflects a culmination of insights gathered over 16 years of work experience and conversations with close friends throughout that time.
